The Plague of Unpleasant Wildlife part I

When your son is supposed to be at the bus stop, but instead he’s crouching three houses away, looking intently at the curb, you know something disgusting has caught his eye. “You’d better get to the bus stop,” I call. He doesn’t move. “Eeew. It’s alive!” Perhaps you...

The Plague of Unpleasant Wildlife part II

You always have high hopes for a normal day, until the kids come home from school and shout, “Hey, Mom, there’s a snake in the garage.” Yippee. It’s not that I’m against snakes or nature in general. I just think slithering creatures with cold beady eyes belong in the...

Impossible Possibilities

My dog, Henry, doesn’t believe in the word “impossible.” One day we walk past a lake and Henry spots some geese swimming happily about. His predator instinct kicks in, and he bursts toward them, nearly ripping the leash from my grasp. Never mind that they’re twenty...

The Plague of Unpleasant Wildlife Part III

  On a bright Sunday morning, my fifteen year old son with his freshly minted learner’s permit sits behind the steering wheel of the car, leaving the passenger seat to me. Right. We’re going to church. I can start praying early. Except I don’t get the chance....

Omni-tuitive

I beg to differ with the word “intuitive” so readily applied to today’s technology. Every shiny, silicon gizmo that pops on the market is “intuitive.” What they mean is “self-explanatory if you’re twelve and convinced you cannot possibly lobotomize your new device by...

Stench-oscope

“You need to take a shower today,” I tell my teenage son. He frowns. “Why?” After thirteen years of bathing, you’d think he’d comprehend its basic purpose. I’ve discovered the polite response is useless. “You stink, son.” “So? I’m not going anywhere today.” His mouth...